


Conservation of Mass

by imaginary_golux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7513315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren attempts to turn Poe Dameron into a cat. It goes less well than he was anticipating.</p><p>Beta by my Best Beloved, Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conservation of Mass

Gather ‘round and listen, Padawans. This is a Teaching Tale.

It is possible, with sufficient Force ability and sufficient will, to transform an object from one thing to another. Lead to gold is, of course, one of the common tricks young Force-users learn, though in recent years lead to platinum - or, on some planets, platinum to lead - is a more common effort. I’m sure some of you are thinking of trying it as soon as this story is over. Please don’t turn anything into uranium.

It’s also possible, with sufficient Force ability and will, to turn one _creature_ into another. This has some drawbacks - making a mistake does tend to be fatal - and most Force-users don’t try it for those reasons. But there are stories of Force-users who have been approached by lovers of incompatible species and who have, in their compassion, managed to transform one lover into a member of the other’s species, making the course of true love run a little smoother. Such incidents are rare but not unknown.

(Transforming _yourself_ is actually a very bad idea. Don’t.)

But even with sufficient will and ability, a Force-user is not easily able to ignore certain laws of nature during these transformations.

The conservation of mass, for instance.

So when the infamous Dark Force-user Kylo Ren, in a fit of pique, attempted to turn that _infuriating_ pilot Poe Dameron into a little black kitty so that Kylo Ren could _punt_ him -

Well.

Poe Dameron is five feet and nine inches tall, and weighed, at that time, about a hundred and fifty-five pounds, Yavin standard gravity. A little black kitty such as Kylo Ren was picturing would be about a foot and a half long and about ten pounds in weight. This leaves about a hundred and forty-five pounds, and about four feet of length, unaccounted for. So the Force, directed as it was by the will and ability of a moderately skilled and very stubborn user, did the best it could.

It kept the ‘kitty.’ It kept the ‘black.’ Which left only one aspect of the enchantment with any give to it at all…

Poe Dameron was, it must be said, somewhat disconcerted to find himself turned into a large melanistic jaguar. But he was not _half_ so startled as Kylo Ren. After all, when you have just attempted to turn your infuriating opponent into a little black kitty suitable for kicking or making into gloves, well, it’s a little startling to be confronted, instead, by a hundred and fifty-five pounds of _very_ angry apex predator.

The noise Kylo Ren made must, I am afraid, be called a squeak. The noise _Poe Dameron_ made can only be called a snarl. And when Rey and Finn, who had been unavoidably delayed by a large group of irritated Stormtroopers, showed up a few minutes later, worried sick about their dear friend Poe, it was to find a very large black jaguar sitting on Kylo Ren’s chest, cleaning its paws and looking as smug as only a cat can.

Let this, therefore, be a lesson to young Force-users: always consider the _mass_ of the object you are attempting to transform. And try not to turn your enemies into large predators. It’s sort of an ignominious way to die.

How do I know all of this, if the only people there were Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren? Why, Poe told me, of course, and so did BB-8, and between the two tales I suspect I have found something very like the truth.

And yes, little one, Poe Dameron _did_ get turned back into his proper human form, after several days and quite a lot of worry, and as far as anyone can tell there were no lasting effects from the experience except that he retains a tendency to purr when you pet his hair.

(Don’t tell him I told you that, though.)

And here is the end of my Tale.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi at imaginarygolux.tumblr.com!


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